Woodland Creature

Life essentials. (via adamiss : thedailywhat)

Fri, 06 Nov 2009 20:00:34 -0500

Life essentials.

(via adamiss : thedailywhat)

Never, ever, ever okay. Thanks for the nightmares, Tyra.

Fri, 06 Nov 2009 19:07:37 -0500

Never, ever, ever okay. Thanks for the nightmares, Tyra.

For the record, they were Shar-Peis

Fri, 06 Nov 2009 11:02:46 -0500

From: The Dude

To: Me

Date: Fri Nov 6, 2009 at 1:35 AM

Funny moment of day: was doing a training session with 12 clients and was showing them Google Reader. I used mine for a demo and we were discussing shared items. I clicked through and the first thing that popped up was a picture of nude David Hasselhoff wearing two pugs…that’s my girlfriend!

I love how he comes off as kind of annoyed that Jesus is all up...

Thu, 05 Nov 2009 22:30:09 -0500

I love how he comes off as kind of annoyed that Jesus is all up in his truck.

Man blames parking lot peep show on “explosive diarrhea”

Thu, 05 Nov 2009 22:15:05 -0500

Man blames parking lot peep show on “explosive diarrhea”:

According to Sheriff’s reports, deputies arrived at the store’s parking lot after a woman and her daughter reported seeing a naked man, later identified as David Todd Napodano, 42, stand-up inside a white van and shake his hips at them….

When deputies spoke with Napodano, he told them he had “explosive diarrhea” and he was using his underwear to clean himself, according to the report. But upon examining Napodano’s underwear, deputies found no evidence of uncontrolled bowels, according to the report.

I can’t decide which scenario is more shameful.

So, the photo I posted of myself yesterday was reblogged by a...

Thu, 05 Nov 2009 21:39:25 -0500

So, the photo I posted of myself yesterday was reblogged by a Tumblr called BeautifulNose. Which is a blog solely devoted to photos of ladies with large schnozzes. I find this terribly amusing, but also sort of validating, because I have a love-hate relationship with my nose. Actually, more like a mostly-hate-but-don’t-really-care-all-that-much-because-I’m-too-lazy-to-be-very-vain relationship.

When I was a whiny, insecure teenager, my mom said she was willing to pay for a nose job if it really bugged me that much. But it didn’t bother me anywhere near as much as the thought of someone slicing open my face. I saw a photo of nose surgery in session in a magazine once and literally felt nauseous for days.

The only thing I do like about my nose is that it’s a symbol of my Italian heritage (although pretty much everyone I’ve ever met assumes that I’m Jewish — also, I’m sure, for nasal reasons). My dad has a schnozz, my grandmother had one, and my great-grandmother had one. It’s a family tradition!

So thanks, BeautifulNose. I’m glad there’s someone out there to carry the torch for the worthy cause of schnozz appreciation.

Heartbreaking.

Thu, 05 Nov 2009 20:23:23 -0500

Heartbreaking.

Pro tip: Never shave a bear. (via rocketboom)

Wed, 04 Nov 2009 22:20:55 -0500

Pro tip: Never shave a bear.

(via rocketboom)

GPOYW, Boat on the Danube edition.

Wed, 04 Nov 2009 21:15:22 -0500

GPOYW, Boat on the Danube edition.

This “luggage living room” should be the...

Wed, 04 Nov 2009 20:55:14 -0500

This “luggage living room” should be the illustration next to “genius” in the dictionary.

Here, this will cheer you up.

Wed, 04 Nov 2009 20:54:01 -0500

Here, this will cheer you up.

I’m pretty sure this is why my dad hasn’t shaved his...

Tue, 03 Nov 2009 22:40:48 -0500

I’m pretty sure this is why my dad hasn’t shaved his mustache since the 1970s.

(via thommy)

Chris Brown is totally wearing man-leggings (meggings?) on his...

Tue, 03 Nov 2009 21:45:06 -0500

Chris Brown is totally wearing man-leggings (meggings?) on his new album cover.

This nail polish is called “Ate Berries in the...

Tue, 03 Nov 2009 20:46:49 -0500

This nail polish is called “Ate Berries in the Canaries,” which is just absurd. I like the color, though.

“All aboard the Raccoon Bus! Next stop, Trashcan...

Mon, 02 Nov 2009 20:37:37 -0500

“All aboard the Raccoon Bus! Next stop, Trashcan City.”

(via thedailywhat)

Is this Jesse Camp, or Willem Dafoe dressed up as Jesse Camp for...

Sun, 01 Nov 2009 21:33:05 -0500

Is this Jesse Camp, or Willem Dafoe dressed up as Jesse Camp for Halloween? Damn, 1998 was a long time ago.

(via goldenfiddle)

Finished reading this today. Sarah Vowell always makes me laugh....

Sun, 01 Nov 2009 21:29:35 -0500

Finished reading this today. Sarah Vowell always makes me laugh. And teaches me random historical facts that I forget soon after.

These dudes are awesome.

Sun, 01 Nov 2009 18:26:19 -0500

These dudes are awesome.

"Ghost Whisperer," "Ghost Hunters," Why Not "Ghost Bachelor"?

Sun, 01 Nov 2009 11:46:33 -0500

Nick: [Making fun of the cover of "Us Weekly"] Oh yeah, that Bachelor Jason sure is a cutie.
Mom: I don't even watch "The Bachelor."
Nick: I bet you would watch "Ghost Bachelor."

Happy Sunday after Halloween! (via rocketboom : klaatu)

Sun, 01 Nov 2009 11:32:14 -0500

Happy Sunday after Halloween!

(via rocketboom : klaatu)