Woodland Creature

Frangelico = Grandpa Love

Mon, 23 Nov 2009 22:31:00 -0500

I tried to make a joke out of it. I e-mailed him:

Hi Grandpa,

You’re Facebook friends with my ex-girlfriend? That’s not allowed! Totally against Facebook etiquette.

Love,

Charles

He wrote me back shortly thereafter:

Dear Charlie,

I am friends with her because we’re good friends. We both love Frangelico! Plus, I don’t need your approval, I can do whatever I want, and I love her.

Love,

G

I don’t know what I would do without these people. (Yeah,...

Mon, 23 Nov 2009 21:45:25 -0500

I don’t know what I would do without these people.

(Yeah, you got me, they’re the ones who spawned me. Isn’t it obvious?)

Happier - Guster Psyched to see them at the Beacon Theatre on...

Mon, 23 Nov 2009 21:03:00 -0500

Happier - Guster

Psyched to see them at the Beacon Theatre on Saturday! God, I’m getting old.

Scary/awesome.

Mon, 23 Nov 2009 20:32:29 -0500

Scary/awesome.

Hilarious geek license plate on 13th Street in the East Village.

Mon, 23 Nov 2009 08:51:30 -0500

Hilarious geek license plate on 13th Street in the East Village.

"For generations, kids couldn’t wait until they reached adulthood so they could smoke, drink, eat..."

Mon, 23 Nov 2009 00:00:06 -0500

“For generations, kids couldn’t wait until they reached adulthood so they could smoke, drink, eat four-course meals, make money, drive cars, have sex, and, if they were the type to join the military, legally kill other human beings. Now we would rather log on and tune out, preferably in the womb-like comfort of a Snuggie, which is the perfect thing to wear as we gaze at photos of kittens while gnawing on delicious cupcakes. Nom-nom-nom.”

- Vanity Fair [Um, wow. I am such a cliché.]

I love looking through my old journals because it makes me see...

Sun, 22 Nov 2009 23:50:14 -0500

I love looking through my old journals because it makes me see that no matter how much I change, I stay the same.

I really wonder how this bit of hoax propaganda from the March...

Sun, 22 Nov 2009 23:44:06 -0500

I really wonder how this bit of hoax propaganda from the March 2006 issue of Esquire came to be posted on the bulletin board at the Westport train station. How very Swiftian.

British Sunday Times Writer Who Thinks New York City Pretty Much Sucks: A Formal Response

Sun, 22 Nov 2009 23:25:00 -0500

British Sunday Times Writer Who Thinks New York City Pretty Much Sucks: A Formal Response:

Can we quickly go over the reasons London—a nice city, sure—sucks compared to New York? Great:

Your food sucks. It all tastes like ass until American chefs take two months to do better what you’ve spent hundreds of years sucking at.

The service in your restaurants sucks, because you have to instruct people how to tip by putting a mandatory charge on their tab, like many other countries that do this. Which is the wrong way of doing this, which is why every server you will every have in London will probably be an asshole.

Your theater sucks. War Horse—no, really, War Horse—is the best thing you have up right now. Anything good you have on the West End came from us. And don’t bring up fucking Billy Elliot.

Your nightlife is just stupid. Pubs close at 11, our bars don’t close until four. Who goes to bed at 11? Are you serious? So you guys open up clubs that close at 2AM that have two kinds of people in them: the kind who get unceremoniously drunk and piss on everything, or the places Prince Harry goes. And who wants to go there? Also, you only play American music. You think Kings of Leon are the Second Coming of Christ. The Kings of Leon play our bar mitzvahs, goddamnit. By the way: most of those rappers you guys play on repeat (and not even the good ones…50 Cent?!) still live in New York. Our clubs and nightlife might have their issues, but they blow yours out of the water. You guys wouldn’t know what to do with The Beatrice Inn if it crawled up your nose in a $100 bill.

Nobody knows where anything is in London. Seriously. It’s like the worst parts of the West Village for an entire city. Everything is higgly-piggly or whatever dumb word you have for it. We live on a grid. A grid. You guys have the dumbest civic planning this side of kids eating Legos.

OH. Don’t get me wrong. Our subways suck, for sure. But at least they’re supposed to work after midnight, and don’t cost half our income to ride. Also, an Oystercard? That just sounds stupid. Who’s running your design schemes, Lewis Carroll? Stupid. Oh, and, you wanna talk about EDGY? How about our D-Trains getting stabby again, edgy? Exactly.

You guys have never had a nice day of weather in the history of the universe. Seriously. The only person Madonna has to compete with for causing a scene is the fucking sun. It’s yellow, it’s in the sky, sometimes, it…nevermind. Have you even been here in September? It’s like Central Park is trying to get in your pants and get you off, the weather’s so goddamned nice.

Oh, and the pound is stupid-expensive. Like everything else in your city.

Your tabloid newspapers make the New York Post look like The Paris Review.

And Whole Foods on the Bowery, sure, Whole Foods sucks. But it’s in a pretty great location, and, fuck that, you know what sucks worse? Sainsbury’s. Sainsbury’s suuuuuuuucks. Which goes back to your food sucking.

Do you have Brooklyn? Do you even know what a Brooklyn is? No, not David Beckham’s son. You’re stupid, shut up. [Quiet Moment: The article didn’t mention Brooklyn once, but didn’t refer to Manhattan exclusively. Go figure.]

London’s celebrities are all on Big Brother and fucking suck. They’re mouthbreathing idiots. They make Tinsley Mortimer look like Jackie Kennedy.

You guys have soccer—yeah, I called it soccer, goddamnit—teams. Multiple ones. Great. We have two baseball teams (including the 2009 World Series Champions), football teams (Including the 2008 Super Bowl Champions), hockey teams (I’m sure they Won Something Great recently), and a basketball team. All of them except for the Knicks could smash every London soccer player. Nothing else, just “smash” them.

There is one—and only one—good song about Foggy London Town. There are as many songs about New York as there are New Yorkers, and most of them are awesome.

What’s the British term for “Ohhh, snap”?

I Believe - Blessid Union of Souls I forgot this song existed,...

Sun, 22 Nov 2009 22:33:14 -0500

I Believe - Blessid Union of Souls

I forgot this song existed, and now I have it stuck in my head. Which is not so terrible.

(via christinefriar)

Pep talk from my brother

Sun, 22 Nov 2009 22:27:36 -0500

Nick: You need to start doing some hobbies. It's New York City, you can do anything in the world.
Me: What are your hobbies?
Nick: My hobbies are I do whatever the hell I want. If someone asks me if I want to go do something, I do it.

schmolitics: Wired Writer Evan Ratcliff Tries To Vanish: Here’s...

Sun, 22 Nov 2009 17:16:53 -0500

schmolitics:

Wired Writer Evan Ratcliff Tries To Vanish: Here’s What Happened

I just finished reading this, and I highly recommend it. It’s a fascinating account of trying to disappear in the digital age.

Weird, I just read this article today, too! I kept thinking of Jason Bourne the whole time.

From my class journal in 1993 (I was seven). In my Montessori...

Sun, 22 Nov 2009 16:25:00 -0500

From my class journal in 1993 (I was seven). In my Montessori class, we had to write our interpretations of the adage of the day each morning. I like to think that the scribbles over the text indicated that I think the concept is bullshit, but I think I was just trying to be artsy.

Photo of my first car, a light blue 1987 Chevy Cavalier station...

Sun, 22 Nov 2009 16:13:00 -0500

Photo of my first car, a light blue 1987 Chevy Cavalier station wagon, from my 2003 journal. The dent on the side is from when I sideswiped a pole at a gas station before I got my license.

My little munchkin, Emily. I tried to get a picture of her with...

Sun, 22 Nov 2009 15:33:00 -0500

My little munchkin, Emily. I tried to get a picture of her with her eyes open, but she kept squinting from the flash.

Is it possible to grow out of materialism?

Sun, 22 Nov 2009 14:36:08 -0500

I love reading holiday gift guides in the December issues of magazines to see what other people are coveting this year, because I don’t particularly want any of it. It seems like as I grow older, I care about material things less and less. I think part of it is because I’ve moved five times in the past five years and part of it is that I live in Manhattan, where there’s just no room for all your stuff.

The thought of packing up and moving again is dreadful and exhausting, yet inevitable. Not to mention that my bedroom is only slightly larger than an Alcatraz jail cell (one foot wider and two feet longer, to be exact), so I literally have room for nothing but my clothing and other completely necessary accoutrements for being a presentable human being.

It’s sort of freeing, though — the thought that I could pick up and move anywhere in the world without issue, as long as I can bring my laptop (not that I’m brave enough to actually do it). I love getting rid of stuff, taking five bags of clothes I never wear around the corner to the thrift store. I tamp down the regret I feel about the money I wasted on it and enjoy the feeling of letting go.

Montessori School Of Dentistry Lets Students Discover Their Own Root Canal Procedures

Sat, 21 Nov 2009 22:25:53 -0500

Montessori School Of Dentistry Lets Students Discover Their Own Root Canal Procedures:

According to administrators, the Montessori School of Dentistry strives to present an alternative to the dogmatic structure of other schools. In addition to being able to set their own curriculum, students at the private institution can take a break during long and involved operations if they grow bored or feel uninspired.

The confining and antiseptic atmosphere of tradition is absent even from the classrooms themselves, relaxing environments that are sometimes filled with comfortable, overstuffed sofas rather than dentist chairs.

Heh. I was a Montessori kid from the age of four through third grade.

Internet vices. So insightful.

Sat, 21 Nov 2009 17:17:42 -0500

Internet vices. So insightful.

My personal motto. I would like this, please. Santa?

Sat, 21 Nov 2009 16:48:01 -0500

My personal motto. I would like this, please. Santa?

Love this! Especially the little squirrel plate. (via...

Sat, 21 Nov 2009 16:33:38 -0500

Love this! Especially the little squirrel plate.

(via sweethomestyle)